"What do you want a meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning."
~ Charlie Chaplin
Desire gets a bad rap these days. It’s a dirty word for some, often bringing up images of sexual lust, or selfish ego-driven compulsion. The dictionary defines the verb desire as: “To wish or long for; crave; want. To express a wish to obtain; ask for; request.” Seems pretty straightforward, right? It’s simply a wish, something wanted. Desire in some form is always there, part of our humanness. When we get hungry, do we not want something to eat? That is desire.
Interestingly, the word was not used to describe sexual lust until the 14th century, around the same time that bands of “flagellants” commonly roamed the countryside whipping themselves as penance for their sins. Any personal wish or wanting that a person might have was increasingly seen as sinful, selfish, willful, and against God.
Before such puritanical suppression sullied the whole concept of desire, the ancients saw these experiences as coming from heaven. Originally, the word desire had a different meaning. It derives from the Latin de sidere, “from the stars.” It is a mystery where these desires come from, is it not? Why does one person adore classical music, while another finds it boring and greatly prefers something with a beat that’s easy to dance to? No one knows. It just simply is. “From the stars” is as good an explanation as we are likely to get.
What we do know is that our preferences in large measure make us who we are as human beings. Our passions and interests provide the variety and range of possible experiences that makes life so interesting. There is so much to choose from! Why then, do I love this particular thing?
Interestingly, the word was not used to describe sexual lust until the 14th century, around the same time that bands of “flagellants” commonly roamed the countryside whipping themselves as penance for their sins. Any personal wish or wanting that a person might have was increasingly seen as sinful, selfish, willful, and against God.
Before such puritanical suppression sullied the whole concept of desire, the ancients saw these experiences as coming from heaven. Originally, the word desire had a different meaning. It derives from the Latin de sidere, “from the stars.” It is a mystery where these desires come from, is it not? Why does one person adore classical music, while another finds it boring and greatly prefers something with a beat that’s easy to dance to? No one knows. It just simply is. “From the stars” is as good an explanation as we are likely to get.
What we do know is that our preferences in large measure make us who we are as human beings. Our passions and interests provide the variety and range of possible experiences that makes life so interesting. There is so much to choose from! Why then, do I love this particular thing?
"Love and desire are the spirit's wings to great deeds."
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I work with many people in my practice who are struggling with burdens in their life - usually originating in childhood - in the form of poor self-image, limiting beliefs, low expectations, destructive survival strategies, and others. They are working so hard just to cope with these burdens - living in their “zone of survival” - that the questions “who am I?” or “what do I like?” never get asked. They don’t have that luxury.
After some inquiry and inner work, as burdens are slowly resolved, there often is a moment of panic that goes something like: “Well, if I’m not my burdens, then who am I?” The burden, the struggle for survival, is all they have known. When you leave the zone of survival and gain the luxury of inquiring within how you might like things to be - your “zone of creativity” - you usually draw a blank, at least at first.
So, how do we answer this question “Who am I?” The ultimate response, agreed upon by every true wisdom tradition in the world, is: “I am God.” This ultimate truth of our identity, our true essence, is the key to everything. I am God, unity, and I am also a seemingly separate person. I have my own body, my own perceptions, my own experiences; my own reality that is unique to me. We are hybrids - spiritual beings (God) having a physical experience (human).
This brings us back to our desires. Our desires are a bridge between God and human. It is one way Spirit speaks to us, lives through us, has an experience of itself.
After some inquiry and inner work, as burdens are slowly resolved, there often is a moment of panic that goes something like: “Well, if I’m not my burdens, then who am I?” The burden, the struggle for survival, is all they have known. When you leave the zone of survival and gain the luxury of inquiring within how you might like things to be - your “zone of creativity” - you usually draw a blank, at least at first.
So, how do we answer this question “Who am I?” The ultimate response, agreed upon by every true wisdom tradition in the world, is: “I am God.” This ultimate truth of our identity, our true essence, is the key to everything. I am God, unity, and I am also a seemingly separate person. I have my own body, my own perceptions, my own experiences; my own reality that is unique to me. We are hybrids - spiritual beings (God) having a physical experience (human).
This brings us back to our desires. Our desires are a bridge between God and human. It is one way Spirit speaks to us, lives through us, has an experience of itself.
“Desire in the heart is where you will discover the phone line that links you
to the will of God that would be expressed through you.”
~ The Way of Mastery
We can quiet ourselves, look inside, and ask: “What is so?” “What is my heart’s desire?” “What do I love?” “What have I always loved?” We can notice the impulses, the longings, the inclinations, the dreams and fantasies we discover there, deep in our heart. You see, desires are not something we invent or choose, they are something we discover. Our desires choose us. They are a kind of deep knowing, simply the way things are. These desires are easily covered up by drama and busyness and myriad other survival strategies we commonly employ. But once we clear the decks and inquire within, they start to make themselves known.
The ancient Greeks called these desires your daimon, or guiding spirit. Later, it was variously known as genius, spirit, angel, destiny, calling. The ancients believed your daimon was assigned to you before birth. It carries the image of your destiny and calling in this life, including your passions and preferences and talents. If ignored too long, your daimon will nag you, pester you, remind you. It might send you a depression or a deep ache of dissatisfaction or some other symptom if you stray too far from your gifts. I often imagine a young Michelangelo working in an accounting firm. Do you imagine he might suffer from a few unpleasant symptoms, straying so far from his calling?
The ancient Greeks called these desires your daimon, or guiding spirit. Later, it was variously known as genius, spirit, angel, destiny, calling. The ancients believed your daimon was assigned to you before birth. It carries the image of your destiny and calling in this life, including your passions and preferences and talents. If ignored too long, your daimon will nag you, pester you, remind you. It might send you a depression or a deep ache of dissatisfaction or some other symptom if you stray too far from your gifts. I often imagine a young Michelangelo working in an accounting firm. Do you imagine he might suffer from a few unpleasant symptoms, straying so far from his calling?
"Everyone has been made for some particular work,
and the desire for that work has been put in every heart."
~ Rumi
Let’s see our desires as coming from God, connecting us to the divine blueprint ordained for our life. They are how we know what we are supposed to be doing in this life. Our desires guide us on our righteous path, our true path, the path we were meant to walk, the life we were meant to live. A seemingly separate human being serving as a hollow bone, channeling Spirit as a unique expression of life. We can trust our desires because they come from within, out of our deepest core essence. An inner knowing of what is right and true. They are not edicts or impositions, handed to us from “out there” somewhere, of what we should do, and who we should be. No, they well up inside of us.
Desires could be seen as our marching orders from God, our mission in life. This idea might conjure up images of sacrifice and obligation and duty in you. That is our religious conditioning in action, I believe. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. Our desires, ordained by God, feel good! It’s what we truly want. It’s what we would do if no limitations existed. Our desires guide us toward our purpose, and that is what makes life worth living, and what gives it depth and meaning. When we are living in accordance with our desires, we call it happiness. When we live by what someone else tells us, it can feel bad, heavy, like a burden. So we can trust our feelings here. “How does it feel?” is a good question to ask. If what you are doing is truly in accordance with your genius, it will feel good. Always.
Now, I would like to make a distinction here between desires of the soul (large Self), and desires of the ego (small self). When the ego wants, it is always for the purpose of making itself bigger, more important, more desirable, more powerful, more impressive. These desires can never be satisfied. There is never enough. The small self knows nothing of Spirit, and is oblivious to any connection to Spirit. It believes the night is dark and full of terrors, it is on its own, and must therefore depend only on itself, and live by its wits. For the ego, everything is about survival, impressing others, and rising in the pecking order where life is easier. These small-self desires are what most of us think of when we hear the word desire, but they are superficial and not true and soulful desires.
Desires could be seen as our marching orders from God, our mission in life. This idea might conjure up images of sacrifice and obligation and duty in you. That is our religious conditioning in action, I believe. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. Our desires, ordained by God, feel good! It’s what we truly want. It’s what we would do if no limitations existed. Our desires guide us toward our purpose, and that is what makes life worth living, and what gives it depth and meaning. When we are living in accordance with our desires, we call it happiness. When we live by what someone else tells us, it can feel bad, heavy, like a burden. So we can trust our feelings here. “How does it feel?” is a good question to ask. If what you are doing is truly in accordance with your genius, it will feel good. Always.
Now, I would like to make a distinction here between desires of the soul (large Self), and desires of the ego (small self). When the ego wants, it is always for the purpose of making itself bigger, more important, more desirable, more powerful, more impressive. These desires can never be satisfied. There is never enough. The small self knows nothing of Spirit, and is oblivious to any connection to Spirit. It believes the night is dark and full of terrors, it is on its own, and must therefore depend only on itself, and live by its wits. For the ego, everything is about survival, impressing others, and rising in the pecking order where life is easier. These small-self desires are what most of us think of when we hear the word desire, but they are superficial and not true and soulful desires.
"Boredom: the desire for desires."
~ Leo Tolstoy
Desires of the soul run deep. They are in accordance with our genius, our angel, our purpose. Desires of the soul are righteous, and have always been there. Allowing yourself to be guided by your truest desires makes the world a more soulful place. Following them is not selfish. In fact, it is selfish not to do so. For to ignore one’s desires is to deny the world your true gifts. It is overruling God - pure hubris. If you do what you think you should do, or what you have been told to do, or what others expect you to do, you are ignoring the Word of God. Expect consequences. Not punishment, just feedback. Expect unpleasant symptoms of every variety, for the daimon won't take that lying down for long. It is far too loyal to you for that. It will do what it can to wake you up and get you back on your path towards soulfulness and wholeness.
It has been said that whatever we think is going on, we really only need three things: 1) Listen to and connect with the longings of our own heart; 2) Find the courage to act on behalf of those longings; and 3) A community of people that supports us in doing that. Amen.
It has been said that whatever we think is going on, we really only need three things: 1) Listen to and connect with the longings of our own heart; 2) Find the courage to act on behalf of those longings; and 3) A community of people that supports us in doing that. Amen.
"A life is either all spiritual or not spiritual at all. No man can serve two masters. Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire."
~ Thomas Merton
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